Intentional Cruising: Living with Purpose At Sea

A beach bonfire in the Ragged Islands brought together kid boats and kindred spirits—lobster, laughter and lasting memories included. Courtesy Ashley Burke

A year before we became liveaboard cruisers, another family came through town and took us on a daysail. It was the first time our whole family was on a sailboat together. We were hooked. The encounter took us from “we might do this whole live on a boat” thing to “heck yeah, let’s go.” 

We thanked them for ­taking the time. They said that as payback, we could look them up when we started cruising. “Life out here requires a lot of intentionality,” they said. “You have to work hard at building the connections.”

Nearly three years later, two of them on the water, that conversation sticks with me. The word “intentional” might as well be tattooed on my arm. I’m a cruising mother of two. I am an expert at ferreting out other “kid boats” to make play dates. I’m intentional in finding relationships for all of us. Without it, this life would still be incredible but missing the kind of ­vibrancy that comes only with sharing joyful experiences. 

A few months ago in the Exumas, we were eager to escape the crowded anchorages and head south to the rugged beauty of the Ragged Islands, but we were also a little hesitant to go it alone. I posted in chat groups, updated our location on the noforeignland site, and started polling nearby kid boats: “Who’s up for an adventure?”

To my delight, three other boats were in. What followed were two epic weeks of exploring together, capped off by a beach bonfire I’ll never forget. Freshly caught lobster grilled over open flames and devoured with bare hands, a ragtag group of kids and adults laughing, sharing stories, and talking about our hopes for the season ahead. That night was pure magic. And it happened because I had made the effort to connect, to gather and to go together.

Over time, my partner and I have become intentional in so much else too. We are educating our children by using the environment we are living in. We are not glossing over our experiences as just some fun. This adventure is the richest education they’ll ever receive, but only if we are intentional about it.

We’re also intentional about self-care, even when—especially when—it’s inconvenient or feels selfish. Living in a small space with two kids means there’s no such thing as easily tapping out of togetherness. But over time, my partner and I have learned to recognize the signs in each other: the shorter fuse, the tight shoulders, the quiet resentment that creeps in when one of us has gone too long without a break.

For me, that break often looks like running. I get up early and slip out into the quiet streets of whatever town or island we’re anchored near. Some mornings, I’m back in a half-hour, just in time for the day’s chaos to begin. Other times, I stretch it longer, soaking up the space and stillness that I don’t always get on the boat.

At first, I felt guilty coming back to find my partner juggling breakfast and the morning ­routine. But he reminded me—and helped me believe—that the version of me who returns after those solo miles is closer to my best self. That time isn’t selfish; it’s necessary.

We’ve come to see these moments not as indulgences, but as maintenance. Just as essential as caring for our boat itself. On a journey like this, your emotional reserves are part of your tool kit. And if we’re not caring for ourselves, we can’t fully show up for each other.

Last, but by no means least, we are intentional about how we live on a floating piece of fiberglass. We are intentional about safety, about maintenance and about monitoring weather.

I now see intentionality as a critical part of all facets of our life. What started as a mindset for making cruising work has slowly become something more foundational. That same intentionality has crept into how we raise our kids, how we treat each other as partners, and how we simply exist in the world. It’s not just the key to thriving out here. It’s also the key to building a life anywhere that feels true.

And it doesn’t take much to start down this route. Put one intentional effort into practice today, and build on it for the future. 

We’ll see you out there. 

Ashley Burke is a coach and full-time liveaboard cruiser raising two kids aboard Dawn Treader. She shares reflections on intentional living at sea at beyondthebreak.substack.com.

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